Some did recently comment that the article I re-printed about Mermaids or Whale insults thin women.
I need to tell you, I have been both — I was a very, very thin child, teen and young adult and became overweight in my mid-30s and obese by my 40s. Yes, when I was skinny “as a rail” or “anorexic” [even when I wasn’t officially anorexic — ages 18-21], or called “skeletal“. I have suffered much, much more discrimination, verbal bullying and stupid comments as a fat/obese person.
Thus, sorry, my skinny friends — when heavier people assume you don’t eat; yes, I know many of you eat (sometimes like a horse) — and you just don’t gain weight; you don’t like to hear it. Nevertheless, you don’t have to leave clothing stores because they “don’t go up that high” in size, you don’t lose jobs over your skinny frame; except maybe some of you models. I’ve never heard of a skinny person, with the qualifications, being turned down for a receptionist or administrative job due to lack of weight. Yet, I have heard of discrimination of fat people being turned down for those jobs — qualified or not — for not being “corporate enough”.
Yes, I was given that line of bullshit to say — “you’re too fat” and don’t look good to our financial analysts. I was fired from a long-term temp job because I didn’t “dress appropriately“. Upon deeper investigation, the boss told me that his former Administrative Assistant wore these stylish short skirts and tight tops. He didn’t like that I wore suits with long skirts and pants that covered my body parts.
Yes, he actually said that! It was an entertainment company and when I told me agency — as it was a temp to perm position — they told me, in show business (entertainment) — looks play a part. Yet, being overweight, no way would I wear short skirts nor tight clothing.
Thus, I’m sorry to my skinny sisters — yes, you can be teased, called some skinny names — but, unlike me, you can shop in most any clothing store, you don’t generally lose jobs over your weight and even media doesn’t attack you like it does us! Commercials about how they want to make it a crime to buy soda, or McDonald’s — I never eat at McDonald’s — and limit us in the overweight community from buying fattening foods. You’ll still be able to buy whatever you want, though; thoroughly based on your size.
I’m also so tired of people saying, “you just have big bones.” NO, I DO NOT!!! I have normal size — medium bones! You Ms. Skinny never get that one about big bones. I’d rather someone ask me if I’m anorexic then tell me I have big bones. I miss the days when I was called “skeleton” or “stretch“. I would take them back in an instant.
In fact, when I was skinny, I loved it when people noticed — even if the comment was rude! I loved Italian mother’s encouraging me to “eat more” because “you’re too skinny“.
I’d be forever appreciative to anyone, right now, who would get me a Personal Trainer and pay for NutraSystem for a year, too! Thus, I will not post comments saying that you, as a thin person, have it as rough as us who are overweight. I have been there — too thin or thin — and I never complained, in those days, when people teased me about my weight. I knew they were just envious of my wonderful shape.
As for Jennifer Hudson — Congrats! To her, too — she lost 80 lbs on Weight Watchers (which I love); unlike me, though, Jennifer has money. She can afford the right food, she can afford a Personal Trainer, she can afford to attend the meetings and buy things needed to lose weight.
As an obese person — it is just plain mean as no one is jealous of a fat person.
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.
French Model: Tara Lynn
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! “
>> This article was on facebook (It was attributed to Delphine Fieberg (http://facebook.com/kwebekwe). She may have merely reprinted it and may be or may not be the writer. I wrote her asking permission to repost this. I did not hear back and decided it was worth the repost to encouage us plus size ladies. <<
First, never ever say to a fat person, at least not any fat females: “You just have big bones!”
First of all, I do NOT have big bones. I have average bones with fat on them. There are three types of bone sizes: small, medium (average) and big (http://www.myfooddiary.com/Resources/frame_size_calculator.asp). I am medium-boned. I did the measuring thing, six times. My bones are medium/average. Probably the only thing average about me, too!
Second of all, it’s rude, no matter how you mean it! Especially for you, guys. When you tell a woman that we’re fine because we have big bones, it’s sort of like us saying to you, “It’s all right for you to have that one-inch penis.”
It’s rude, unkind, and inaccurate!
Statistically speaking, most women are small or medium-boned; just as most men have a four-to-six inch penis (on average).
Subway riders: Do not make noises [i.e. sighing in disgust] when YOU choose to squeeze beside us fat girls on the half-inch of bench space! Your noises, hmmms and sighs will NOT make us get up, move or get skinnier. Neither will pushing your skinny ass further into seat and attempting to push our fat thighs against the metal bars of the subway! It just makes us want to sit on you, push back or find a pin and stab you with it [trust me, I’ve carried safety pins with me for just such a job, if someone pisses me off
enough]!
Buck up! You’re skinny, in better shape! You fucking stand up for the half hour ride to Manhattan! You can do it. Besides, my weight gain is based, mostly, on an injury. As the juveniles on Jerry Springer like to say, “You don’t know me!”
Really, you don’t. You can assume my fat is from Burger King or truck loads of Dr. Pepper. Well, I haven’t eaten at Burger King for a good amount of years. As for Dr. Pepper, one can every few days hardly make for 90 lbs. weight gain! Nevertheless, my broken ribs in 2003, when I couldn’t move without excruciating pain did cause a good 50 lb. weight gain over the course of that healing. The car crash where I sustained the broken ribs also caused severe pain in my spine, which, to this day, manifests itself if I stand for more than ten minutes. Pain so bad, that once it starts, I will spend up to 48 hours with no sleep, no relief, unless I take Tylenol 3 or heavier pain medications.
I do not have the insurance to afford a spine specialist. You don’t know me. So, do not assume, all my weight is from laziness. It’s from pain, injuries and lack of finances to pay for a Personal Trainer, Nutritionist or the higher quality foods at the store.
Your rude noises, comments or looks certainly won’t make me want to exercise more. I didn’t get fat in one day, nor will I get skinny or begin my workout today, either . . .just to please your judging eyes!
No, I don’t enjoy being fat and although I got here, there are factors you do not know. I gained the first of the weight from medication that saved my life. I gained 70 lbs. in one year from medication alone.
Thus, to judge me as just a glutton who ate myself into obesity is completely off-base! I took medication so I wouldn’t suffer depression and panic. Then, after losing 30 lbs. on Weight Watchers, I was in the car crash. My weight went back up.
Age: 18
Because my weight gain came at the age of 33-years-old; I am still unable to see myself as I am – FAT. I understand exactly what Kirstie Alley felt like in ‘Fat Actress”. I’m just not me at this weight. I cannot afford four to six hours of training a day with a professional trainer [i.e. Biggest Loser].
And my third pet peeve:
You who will say, “No, you’re not fat. You’re perfect the way you are! You are so beautiful!”
One: Don’t believe you.
Two: No, I am fat. You see it, you know it. Fat is fat. Don’t try to say something nice. Say nothing, that’s better.
Three: I may be beautiful, fat or thin. But, listen, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and high blood sugar is anything but beautiful! Thus, I am not perfect the way I am. Stop trying to convince me different. It won’t work anyway. It just pisses me off more.
If you want to know what to say when and if I say “I have to lose weight.” Try these encouraging words:
“Do you? Are you thinking of a program?”
“How much do you want to lose?”
When and if we give you a number, the best answer is…another question, sincerely:
“Do you need to lose that much?” And then follow with the first question, “Are you thinking of a program?”
Another great answer, if you must speak: “If you need help with anything, let me know.”
And finally: Skinny people do NOT say, in front of us fat girls, “Oh God, I’m getting so fat!” or “I need to lose weight, I’m so fat!” or anything about fat!
You’re skinny, you know it! So, stop trying to compliment yourself when you’re with us.
Here’s how to remember it, for you skinny and trim girls: If the person you’re with is, or around, or over 200 lbs. or overweight, in general [based on current charts for her age/height, etc.]. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT!
If you are thinner than the person you’re with: DO NOT MENTION OR TALK ABOUT WEIGHT!
It’s rude, painful and makes us fat people go out to McDonald’s for a large fries and a Quarter Pounder! Besides you’re trying to compare us to you. That’s how we see it!
You truly want to help us? Shut up until we ask you for help. Make no comments, at least, not about weight – yours or mine or other people!
1999: 200lbs
Really, I don’t want to hear about how you went from size 4 to 6! Try this on for size: 14 to 16 to 18.
Do you want to compete?
Okay, you win! You’re skinnier . . . thus, shut up about me and my body!
Finally, if you must speak up, then, you must also be willing to 1) buy me a membership to Curves (for one year or more), 2) Find and pay for me to have a Personal Trainer, specializing in back injuries and 3) Support me for a year so I can pursue weight loss for one full year, full-time. Investment: $50,000.
If you have a product, of course, I’d be glad to be your spokesperson for the investment for the year!
Angela Theresa: Renaissance Woman 