Definition Of A Stalker
or Exposing My Stalker
by Angela Theresa Egic
At age 10, I was cast as ‘Helen Keller’ in a classroom production of The Miracle Worker; mind you, without an audition– The director, Lisa Lee, a classmate, thought I looked like the real Helen Keller – so now, almost forty years into my theatrical life. What I have learned, in recent years [i.e. the last thirty] – over fifty stage productions to my credit – this business called theatre does attract some real crazies.
Sure, I admit to my foibles, flaws and a touch of narcissism – most actors have that, alongside symptoms of MPD [Multiple Personality Disorder], too many OCD’s (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder), Tourette Syndrome. Unfortunately, a true sociopath comes along once in a while!
Back in the 1990’s I heard a story about one such psychotic male actor. An actor – by all outward appearances, was a somewhat normal guy [for an actor]; he fell in love or lust for a young actress, in a top acting class, at a popular New York school they both, separately, had auditioned for and been accepted into [this class]. This actor asked the young actress out on a date. She politely turned him down. All seemed well as they worked together as scene partners. After awhile, the actor began to pester the young actress to go on a date with him. She asked him to stop bothering her about it . . . numerous times . . . until finally, she had to be very firm. The actor did not return to class for weeks. One fateful day, as the young actress entered the classroom, an envelope was waiting for her, and she was told it was left … by the actor. Inside the envelope she found a marriage license — for her and the actor! The sociopath actor had gone to the courthouse, applied for a marriage license and forged the young actresses’ signature!!!
She called the police and had to place a restraining order on him.
What is it with people? Why do certain groups attract certain people?
In my case, I have attracted them in theatre and mostly, via my admiration for a certain celebrity.
I’ll begin with the fans; although, my goal is to share my most recent situation – a theatre stalker.
It sort of goes hand in hand . . .
As a long-time fan of Tim Curry, my relationship with his fans has been, most of the time, like living in a mental ward of disorders. I’ve met obsessive, compulsive, manic and delusional fans.
DISCLAIMER: I have also met some of my best friends directly through my love, lust and admiration for TC.
Am I one of those mentally disturbed fans, too? Certainly I was, and still am, rather obsessive, yes [about a lot of things and people: Tim Curry, Alan Rickman, Broadway Musicals (especially “Wicked”), clean bathrooms (have a phobia of public bathrooms that are not pristine) and NYC] . . . although, I am not any more obsessed with Tim Curry (TC) than 100s of other TC fans I’ve met.
In fact, let’s get real, some of them far more bizarre than I could ever be!
Since my obsession began, in 1983, I have been lied to, lied about, accused, followed and stalked by TC fans, themselves. What was always funny [odd] to me was the fans who accuse me most of being a stalker are the ones stalking me! When I point out the fact they are stalking . . . bullying . . . and attacking me, they; like all people who victimize others, try to convince me how they are justified in their mistreatment of me; victimizing me once again.
First, let me say, if I’m stalking Tim Curry…I am the laziest one ever! I live 3000 miles from where TC lives . . .have missed seeing him dozens of times [when we were in the same city], have never been to his home, nor dug through his garbage [that was a completely different fan – definitely NOT me].
I have a germ phobia, thus, dumpster diving or even keeping, touching or saving used garbage [even if it was TCs], is out of the question for me!
I once lived only three hours away (from NYC), when TC was doing, Spamalot, on Broadway. On a one-day visit to NYC, I actually turned down a ticket to see the show because, a) I was with friends, in NYC, and there was only one ticket available, and b) I didn’t want to see him at that time. TC was one block away from me, and I did not even attempt to see him! How is that stalking?
If someone told me, this minute, TC was down the block from me, I would not go see him. You see, I’m here, at home, with no make-up on, and need a shower, a weight loss of about 50 lbs [if I had my preference] and my eyebrows waxed. I have absolutely nothing to wear today, and don’t feel like taking a shower or putting on make-up.
Thus, at best, I am a lazy stalker. I just don’t want to have to go out of my way to find him, see him or whatever. Now, if Tim Curry wanted to call me, I’d be happy to chat on the phone. That said, if I don’t recognize a number, I would never answer! So, probably wouldn’t even chat with him, unless he left a voice-mail and said who it was.
Thus, before accusing me of stalking, you need to check your facts – and laws – about what exactly stalking is.
A stalker will:
1) Continue to contact a person who has told the stalker to STOP [contacting] the victim.
FACT: Tim Curry has NEVER told me to stop being his fan . . . buying tickets to his shows . . . writing him the occasional letter . . . seeing him when I do.
In fact, has always been accepting and seems to enjoy seeing me!
2) Puts forward false and negative words toward the victim, often falsely attributing acts and words to the person they are stalking.
FACT: This is called SLANDER.
FACT: The words I attribute to TC are positive, funny and do not hurt or slander him.
3) Bullies the victim they’ve chosen to stalk.
You are a stalker:
When a person [themselves—not his or her fans] tells you NO or LEAVE ME ALONE, and you feel the person “doesn’t mean it” or you decide to “do it anyway”. It is a crime and makes you a stalker!
If you are sending email and letters telling your victim, “You’re worthless . . lazy . . .ugly . . .a stalker . . . dangerous . . . a threat [to TC] or others . . . undeserving” – particularly, when this person 1) does not contact you, 2) has never done anything, at all, to you and 3) doesn’t bother you . . . makes YOU a STALKER and a BULLY!
If you CLAIM to have been told by the person [them self] that they “hate” or have a “problem” with a said fan [me]. I am sure putting words into someone’s mouth would upset the person. It is also hearsay.
Someone (a so-called fan) did have the nerve to tell another fan – not me, mind you – that Tim Curry told her that he “hates” me and that I am to “be avoided” and I am “dangerous”.
>> First off all: If it were true [that TC felt that way about me, or anyone]. The person who made him feel that way would have been arrested whenever near him.
>> Despite rumors about me. I have never been arrested nor served a restraining order, or any other legal document from legal representatives, police officers nor Tim Curry or about Tim Curry. None.
>> If you care to check it out. All things, such as restraining orders, court appearances and arrests are public domain. As long as you know someone’s full legal name you can, with the right inquiry, do background check and find all records of public domain. It costs about $25 to $100 on places such as http://www.spokeo.com and other background check websites.
>> I say this because 1) I have nothing to hide, 2) my record [at least, regarding TC and stalking] is completely clean because I DON’T DO THAT!
You are a stalker:
If you go public on your Facebook wall . . . send emails [see above] . . . comment on websites (i.e. YouTube, WordPress) and telling the victim how terrible you, in your opinion and insight, feel this person is; making yourself the security guard, police officer for some celebrity you do not know personally and/or the therapist of the person you are bullying.
Yet, you do not hold a degree; and if you do, you are NOT treating me.
It is not you job!
FACT: This is also a hate crime!
As for me and what I do:
TC has no Facebook account – no matter how convincing you think someone is with so-called facts about him.
Stalkers are negative and also say negative things – being a fan who may or may not be obsessed is not the same as being a stalker.
Remember, a stalker is a criminal – he or she does NEGATIVE things to possess or own someone, control the other person.
What this article was sparked by is, recently:
I have a bully and stalker – it is one person who I met through theatre – and recently [January 2012] ended the friendship because he posted negative things, and gave out personal info about my life on Facebook . . . with my full name attached!
I have been slandered, victimized, attacked and accused of things I have never done, a) vilified for living my life in a way I choose, b) continually being contacted by him [my stalker/bully] when 1) he asked me to cease contact with him [after I had told him off in a few private emails] and 2) I had stopped contacting him after he asked me not to.
From the end of January 2012 until about the end of April 2012 . . . I had not responded to his incessant, harassing and bullying emails. I have blocked him from several email accounts and then, in a month or two, he creates a new account (with a fake name) and contacts me again – with some negative response to something I posted on Facebook!
Yes, he is blocked on my Facebook . . . yet, somehow, via a fake name and Facebook account, is continuing to read my status updates, etc. And no, I won’t go private or change my Facebook accounts! It is unfair.
I should not have to hide from some fool; who has too much time on his hands and feels a need to harass me or verbally attack me about my life and my choices.
I unfriended and blocked him because my life so offends him. So, why does he need, or want to keep in touch with me. It makes no logical sense.
And there’s my point. There are mentally ill people out there. Unfortunately, because I spent five-minutes to be kind to him – when he was Stage Manager of a play I was cast in [once again, without an audition]. He took my good manners to mean we were close friends. We weren’t. I never felt any sort a rapport with this guy – let’s call him PT – he is, admittedly, very weird and cruel. He is not that type of guy who should use that sort of humor — sarcasm. At least, not the type he uses. Cruel, vicious verbal attacks on people . . . for things like begin fat, short or not as educated.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good wit. I can throw out the sarcasm along with the best of them. Nevertheless, I won’t put down a person about weight, or a flaw they cannot help. Unless they attack me first.
Yet, this guy – PT – would, publicly, on my Facebook wall, say that I was fat and lazy. Yes, it’s true I am fat. Lazy, no. And yet, he was claiming to be a friend. He became offended when I wouldn’t take jobs such as caring for an elderly man in another state! A job I do not qualify for – bad back, bad knees (that’s me) – and PT thinks I should just commute four days per week on a bus; be ready to lift, walk and give injections, change bed pans, etc. for an elderly man because he gave me the lead!
PT never bothered to ask for my office resume. The one that shows my twenty-years of being an Administrative Assistant and Legal Secretary, light Bookkeeper for financial companies, CEO’s and high-class lawyers! I’m no LPN or home care giver!
There’s an old saying: Until you have walked a mile in my shoes, do not judge me.
To ask for help – especially in a social network – in a way where you are willing to trade; i.e. I will give you a free reading for help with my rent. That is not PANHANDLING. That is NOT be lazy.
>> Yes, many people have some sense of pride, that it lowers them to ask for help when needed. I know people who have not asked for help. I have nice memories of those people when I visit their graves, too. For years, I ignored pain (as a teen and young adult) associated with my abdomen, because “no one likes a complainer”. And guess what? I nearly died at the age of 20-years-old because my ovarian cyst (of which I was unaware of having) ruptured and shot poison throughout my organs.
I learned then and there – if you need help ask.
Other times, when I tell people about the years I was homeless, ask me, “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve helped you.”
Friends get angry when they find out you didn’t reach out and ask for help. People want to help. At least, real friends do. I feel the same way. Ask! Even if, at the time, I cannot help you – I will 1) try to find you help, 2) help when and where I can and 3) encourage you through the hard times (giving what I can in that sense).
If you don’t ask, I don’t always know. They pride goeth before a fall! And I have seen, first-hand, pride kill people. Yes, kill them. To not complain (or tell/ask someone) about pain for months or years, strange menstrual cycles or difficulties living in safe places – or the money to visit a doctor, pay rent or electric or get medication – can kill you.
Of course, do not start sending me notes about what I can give you. I am still living paycheck to paycheck and haven’t quite got my first million yet. When I do . . . we’ll chat!
And as for my stalker/bully – When I started my job, about five weeks ago, I saw his Facebook page [via my contacts] and he had SHARED my status from my Facebook page and posted, about me now working fulltime, “I don’t believe it!”
>> Good! I told PT to stay out of my life. So far, since then, he has . . .
Which reminds me:
You’re a stalker if:
You turn a person’s words around and make it about them. It’s downright psychotic!
>> When I did respond to PT: I stated that I wished he’d just “go away” and frustrated at his continual abuse of me in email, I said: “I hope you die.” He turned that into me “threatening to kill” him! Which I did not, in any way, say; I said “I wish you were dead.” And wishing him to die is not threatening to make it happen.
>> First, I don’t want to jail for his ugly ass.
>> I am not a criminal in any way.
I may be a bitch and a lot of other dirty names. I am not a criminal, a stalker, a killer nor as crazy as many like to say. I’m angry, at times . . . I’m frustrated, at times . . . I’m independent, all the time . . . I can be cruel and cold, when pushed and it is needed. And only to those who treat me badly.
Let’s get the facts:
- No, it wasn’t nice to say – yet, I do not take it back. I do wish he’d go away forever; at least, from my life. And from his history with me in these past few months, the only way – he’d have to be dead.
- I did NOT say I wanted any part of his death. I just hope it happens. Sometimes with crazy stalkers you have to be blunt and very, very cruel. That seems the only time they actually “hear” your words, I find.
- I told him, several hundred times, “leave me alone” and he doesn’t. So, obviously, he ignores those clear words I have to be blunt.
- To “hope” someone dies [i.e. I wish all the terrorists would die – without taking any of us – too, I might add] is not saying you want any part of their death. I did not say murder, or by my hand or even that it has to be violent.
- In fact, again, my hope, really, is to NEVER HEAR FROM HIM OR ABOUT HIM AGAIN. I do not need to know if he is alive or dead. Prosperous or poor. Good or bad. I just want him gone – from my email, my life in every way, forever.
In the final analysis, and facts about me:
I am a great friend to have.
I feel the homeless who sing, write poetry or offer to do something for your change are NOT panhandling. They are exchanging talents for pay; and if someone would pay them for it, they’d do it in better clothing or atmosphere.
If you make me an enemy, the worst that can happen: I feel nothing for you and if you bother me, I will say cruel things.
I adore Tim Curry and would not hurt him in any way. In fact, I admire him greatly, and if he said to me – himself – to go away, I would [go away] with no anger; only hurt. I’d cry and move on with my life.
I am not lazy. I work very hard. [Right now, three jobs!]
In the final thought, regarding PT – the one who stalks/bully’s me:
>> I have no feelings for him, it is indifference. Thus, I really don’t care if he lives, dies or a thousand purple monkeys’ fly out of his ass.
Onward to better things. . .
Life is going well.
I have three great jobs!
Money flows and flows!
I am now able to pay some bills, travel and enjoy my summer more!
Love, Light & Laughter,
Originally meant to post this in October . . .
Since I didn’t, here is a wonderful compliment I received from Dori Hartley . . . whom many of us know from her infamy of being the first ‘Frank N. Furter’ when Rocky Horror Picture Show was becoming a cult classic back in the late 70s, early 80s in New York City — and in the United States.
If you pick up, or find a copy of a book called CREATURES OF THE NIGHT by Sal Piro, you will find her story and many others. Afterwards, if you find a copy of CREATURES OF THE NIGHT II by Sal Piro; well, you’ll find my photograph(s) and a little about me, the infamous, Curry’s Angel.
Of course, since I wasn’t the first or never became a regular ‘Frank N. Furter’ at the actual 8th Street Playhouse — my fame is fading some. Nevertheless, I’ve had some years of what I call Rocky Horror fame. As you read the article below, about me and my association with Rocky Horror and all that entails — you will see my wish was “to be the next Dori Hartley“. In many ways it came true and ran full circle.
Besides getting to meet Dori, a few times (at RHPS conventions); in the past few years, via facebook and the RHPS family we all formed, I am happy she calls me a friend. We are not the best of friends [in the sense of knowing each other extremely well], or have we ever chatted, in person, for hours, or on the phone (as friends would do) — nevertheless, we have exchanged private emails and via facebook and, I believe, if we do, or had opportunity to hang out or chat on the phone, it would be for hours! It would also be fun, informative and really interesting!
Yet, we are quite sympatico and deep inside, I know, we understand one another as much as two, very unique women of similar age can. We are, for lack of a better word, contemporaries. We’ve had some common experiences, both of us have strong opinions [on which we agree, and many we would not agree], yet, respect each other enough to live and let live on things of which we’d, no doubt, disagree.
Also, like Dori, I did meet Tim Curry, as was also my goal.
Here is her wonderful note to me [I vote it the best compliment of 2010, and perhaps of the whole decade, so far!]. If nothing else, as noted in her note, Dori gets me, even when she doesn’t!
Angela – You’re an original and I’m pretty sure you’ve taken your share of guff in your time.
I love your spirit and your independence. You’re as mad as a hatter and I have to let you know that I am YOUR fan – for your originality, your ability to stick with what YOU believe, and your ‘oh yeah? you think I care?’ attitude.
I totally respect you because you are uniquely you, all the time.
And Dori, I am your fan . . . for sure!
Now, my story:
The Story of “Curry’s Angel“
It Was Great When It All Began
A long, long time ago (1979) in a galaxy far, far away (Phoenix, Arizona) my journey into Rocky Horror began, and almost ended at the same time! Being the 16-year-old Christian child that I was, I expected a fun film where we teenagers, who enjoyed acting, were able to do so. What I found was underage teens emulating sexual behavior, cursing like truck-drivers and men dressing like women! I was afraid to go to the bathroom because my two escorts, two other teen girls and their mothers, told me “don’t go to the bathroom because there is only one!” At the time, not really realizing that most of the guys wouldn’t even care if they saw me (or any other women) naked – thoughts of rape and molestation ran through my mind. My moral, Christian upbringing was being shaken at the foundation. In the next month, having seen the film Footloose, no doubt; I talked about starting a petition against The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I didn’t try very hard, but I told a couple teachers that it was immoral and should be banned! Little did I know what would happen two short years later…
At the age of 18, my mind was opened up… a lot. I was finding my chosen faith of Born Again Christianity much too limiting. My beliefs left no place in God’s world for my Jewish friends, my homosexual friends and my friends raised without organized religion. So, I asked the same friend, Traci Dubow, who escorted me in 1979, if she’d be willing to re-initiate the new me into the R.H.P.S.
That fateful night I fell in… love (or is it lust) with, as I put it, “that man in the fishnets and corset” and wanted to be part of it all. I was obsessed, trying to find every book written on the film and on Tim Curry – and I found them everywhere! In that same year, I read Sal Piro’s Creatures of the Night and read about Dori Hartley. I told all my new Rocky Horror friends that “Angela Theresa Egic is going to be the next Dori Hartley of Rocky Horror!” This was also around the year I was officially titled “Curry’s Angel“.
Since I am an actress, my first cast in Arizona was pretty impressed with my virgin performance at Rocky Horror and invited me back for the next week to audition to be a permanent Janet. I did that and then the cast was fired! I took over and began a cast of volunteer audience members. We had no costumes and most of us were still new to the film, but we all acted and performed our hearts out. Admittedly I was getting them into shape and we were doing pretty well for our inexperience… then BOOM!! Some big guy showed up, with entourage in tow. He had been doing the R.H. circuit for several years and he took over. He made me the understudy Magenta, Janet and a real occasional Columbia. But he did let me in the show free for the next year as a cast member. His name was Max Medina and his wife who became the regular Janet, also named Angela. To keep confusion down I began signing our cast list as The Next Mrs. Curry. Max was constantly telling me I wasn’t a true R.H. fan, but a Tim Curry fan. One night, Max, frustrated at my endless “Curry lines” during the film, shouted at me.”Angela! Who do you think you are, Tim Curry’s angel or something?!!” (I’d like to note this was before angels became all the rage, too).I responded, “Yeah, Max, I am his angel! That’s why my mother named me Angela!!”Soon after two other cast members and I began our 70’s tribute as “Curry’s Angels” with us two Angela’s and our Columbia – I was Jaclyn Shit, then the other Angela, with the hair was Farrah Fucked Up and Kate Jackass. I kept the “Curry’s Angel” name, obviously. I was the biggest Tim Curry fan of our group!
And that’s how I became Curry’s Angel in 1983 – which leads me back to my becoming the next Dori Hartley. The ways I most wanted to be like Dori was to become famous in the R.H. circuit and to actually know Tim Curry!! At this time I didn’t have the “balls” to consider even playing “Frank N. Furter” in a cast. I was pretty content with Janet and Magenta.Thus, the first thing I did on my road to R.H. fame was to write the fan club president, Sal Piro. I ordered a “Tim Curry Fearless shirt” and wrote him a note of how much I adore Tim Curry and the show. He wrote me back!! Little “Curry’s Angel” got a little from someone Dori Hartley was close friends with!!! Sal told me the medium t-shirt I ordered was gone and he only had a small one left… did I want it? I said “Yes” even though I like my shirts big.
The next few years many things happened.
Most importantly, in 1984, I was accepted to The American Academy of Dramatic Arts (AADA) in New York City.
I arrived in NY on October 12, 1984, only two weeks after my 21st birthday. My goals: to go to 8th Street Playhouse, meet and become friends with Sal Piro, join the cast and meet Tim Curry and become friends with him too! This, or course, would make me quite famous in the R.H. community!
My first visit to the 8th Street Playhouse was rather interesting, a whole different crowd from the Phoenix group. Met Sal before the show and asked about being in the cast, he said he did need a female Magenta. Culture shock city for me! But I had yet to get together a full costume, and that was an 8th Street requirement. By the time I got things together Sal had a full cast and didn’t seem too interested in either knowing me or casting me. I was this annoying Tim Curry fan always sitting in the third row trying to out-scream the resident 8th Street cast Tim fanatic, Michelle Rehfeld.
I boasted to everyone there how I was going to know Tim Curry and he was going to know me. They all thought I was just another young, fly-by-night, Rocky Horror fan, never to be seen again. But this Girl from Arizona who called herself Curry’s Angel never went away! Eventually, I became a regular audience member of 8th Street, and as much as I annoyed a lot of the cast, I slowly began to fit it. They stopped calling me “the Girl from Arizona” and started to accept that I was indeed “Curry’s Angel“.
Later, living in Brooklyn… there was a theatre, The Marlboro, which showed R.H.P.S. on Saturday midnights only. I approached the manager of that theater and several of the 8th Street regulars and asked if we could be the resident cast of Brooklyn. The manager agreed and gave us a date that we could try it out. And as true and dedicated fans of the 8th Street cast, we still went into NYC on Friday nights, and for anniversaries. Our show was only on Saturday nights.
In the two or three years that the show was in Brooklyn, several of our cast members became 8th Street regulars. In fact, some of our originally Brooklyn cast are still involved with the fan club and the NYC Cast!
To make a long story short (too late)… On August 28, 1987 at about 6:00 p.m., in New York City – I met Tim Curry! He [Tim Curry] was in rehearsal for the Broadway touring cast of Me and My Girl. I tracked him down through my friend who worked in “the Broadway Circuit” and met him…by myself, and I made quite an impression! It would take several more pages to explain what happened with me and Tim and why, to this day, he knows me by name and calls me his angel when we do see each other. The interesting part, Tim and I never discussed R.H.P.S. the whole 20 minutes we chatted during that first meeting. It just didn’t come up.
I retired a couple of weeks after the meeting. In 1992, I volunteered to use my years of RHPS experience to do a column, in a now defunct fanzine by Mad Man Mike called When Madness Takes Its Toll. When Mike decided to end his fanzine I started my own [now defunct]. I premiered it at the “1993 Mini-Con” in Washington, DC. I titled mine The Unconventional Conventionalists R.H. Newsletter.
Since 1992, I’ve been in full retirement from the performing aspect of the RHPS. I’ve attended many RHPS conventions and seen Mr. Curry several more times through the years. In fact, I’ve met, sometimes hung out, with a lot of the original film cast of RHPS.
And Sal Piro has had me involved in some convention and a Halloween TV special on cable! I’ve also appeared as “Curry’s Angel” at the 10th Anniversary in NYC and the 15th Anniversary in Los Angeles.
In 2008, via a friend in Hollywood, CA, I also had the pleasure of meeting the original “Trixie/Magenta” from the Broadway Roxy cast of Rocky Horror Show; the lovely Jamie Donnelly!
Currently, I live in New York doing stage acting and still pursuing a career as a Broadway actor/singer and writer. I am working on my first book about developing your psychic gifts; I also work as an Intuitive/Medium.
Comments also welcome here! Keep reading as I will have updates about my books, my intuitive work and my stage work.
Happy New Year!
Love, Light & Laughter,
If you’d like a reading [Psychic] and you read this blog, I’ll give you a discount! Drop me a note at AngelAura28@yahoo.com and put “Blog Reader” in the subject line.
It is a forum some friends and I started. It has been in coma for awhile, though. Nevertheless, I just posted a new short article. We also have a section for those over 18 to post fantasies of the adult nature. Fan fiction, if you will, for erotica and adult situations and stories for us older fans! There are already a few posted there.
Come join in . . .
Love, Light & Laughter,
aka “Curry’s Angel“
Day Seventy–Two (72): Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
72) Only A Matter Of Perception?
Some critics say that the Law of Attraction is nothing more than oversimplification of the Hindu and Buddhist idea of detachment or viewing life with equanimity, or an even mindedness. Hindu and Buddhist philosophies teach detachment and the avoidance of judging experiences as either good or bad so as not to be impacted by them; however, the Law of Attraction practitioners assert that it is, in fact, your thoughts that draw life experiences to you. You are not altering your relationship to or perception of an event. Instead, you are making it possible for it to take place through your emotions and thoughts.