At age 10, I was cast as ‘Helen Keller’ in a classroom production of The Miracle Worker; mind you, without an audition– The director, Lisa Lee, a classmate, thought I looked like the real Helen Keller – so now, almost forty years into my theatrical life. What I have learned, in recent years [i.e. the last thirty] – over fifty stage productions to my credit – this business called theatre does attract some real crazies.
Sure, I admit to my foibles, flaws and a touch of narcissism – most actors have that, alongside symptoms of MPD [Multiple Personality Disorder], too many OCD’s (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder), Tourette Syndrome. Unfortunately, a true sociopath comes along once in a while!
Back in the 1990’s I heard a story about one such psychotic male actor. An actor – by all outward appearances, was a somewhat normal guy [for an actor]; he fell in love or lust for a young actress, in a top acting class, at a popular New York school they both, separately, had auditioned for and been accepted into [this class]. This actor asked the young actress out on a date. She politely turned him down. All seemed well as they worked together as scene partners. After awhile, the actor began to pester the young actress to go on a date with him. She asked him to stop bothering her about it . . . numerous times . . . until finally, she had to be very firm. The actor did not return to class for weeks. One fateful day, as the young actress entered the classroom, an envelope was waiting for her, and she was told it was left … by the actor. Inside the envelope she found a marriage license — for her and the actor! The sociopath actor had gone to the courthouse, applied for a marriage license and forged the young actresses’ signature!!!
She called the police and had to place a restraining order on him.
What is it with people? Why do certain groups attract certain people?
In my case, I have attracted them in theatre and mostly, via my admiration for a certain celebrity.
I’ll begin with the fans; although, my goal is to share my most recent situation – a theatre stalker.
It sort of goes hand in hand . . .
As a long-time fan of Tim Curry, my relationship with his fans has been, most of the time, like living in a mental ward of disorders. I’ve met obsessive, compulsive, manic and delusional fans.
DISCLAIMER: I have also met some of my best friends directly through my love, lust and admiration for TC.
Am I one of those mentally disturbed fans, too? Certainly I was, and still am, rather obsessive, yes [about a lot of things and people: Tim Curry, Alan Rickman, Broadway Musicals (especially “Wicked”), clean bathrooms (have a phobia of public bathrooms that are not pristine) and NYC] . . . although, I am not any more obsessed with Tim Curry (TC) than 100s of other TC fans I’ve met.
In fact, let’s get real, some of them far more bizarre than I could ever be!
Since my obsession began, in 1983, I have been lied to, lied about, accused, followed and stalked by TC fans, themselves. What was always funny [odd] to me was the fans who accuse me most of being a stalker are the ones stalking me! When I point out the fact they are stalking . . . bullying . . . and attacking me, they; like all people who victimize others, try to convince me how they are justified in their mistreatment of me; victimizing me once again.
First, let me say, if I’m stalking Tim Curry…I am the laziest one ever! I live 3000 miles from where TC lives . . .have missed seeing him dozens of times [when we were in the same city], have never been to his home, nor dug through his garbage [that was a completely different fan – definitely NOT me].
I have a germ phobia, thus, dumpster diving or even keeping, touching or saving used garbage [even if it was TCs], is out of the question for me!
I once lived only three hours away (from NYC), when TC was doing, Spamalot, on Broadway. On a one-day visit to NYC, I actually turned down a ticket to see the show because, a) I was with friends, in NYC, and there was only one ticket available, and b) I didn’t want to see him at that time. TC was one block away from me, and I did not even attempt to see him! How is that stalking?
If someone told me, this minute, TC was down the block from me, I would not go see him. You see, I’m here, at home, with no make-up on, and need a shower, a weight loss of about 50 lbs [if I had my preference] and my eyebrows waxed. I have absolutely nothing to wear today, and don’t feel like taking a shower or putting on make-up.
Thus, at best, I am a lazy stalker. I just don’t want to have to go out of my way to find him, see him or whatever. Now, if Tim Curry wanted to call me, I’d be happy to chat on the phone. That said, if I don’t recognize a number, I would never answer! So, probably wouldn’t even chat with him, unless he left a voice-mail and said who it was.
Thus, before accusing me of stalking, you need to check your facts – and laws – about what exactly stalking is.
A stalker will:
1) Continue to contact a person who has told the stalker to STOP [contacting] the victim.
FACT: Tim Curry has NEVER told me to stop being his fan . . . buying tickets to his shows . . . writing him the occasional letter . . . seeing him when I do.
In fact, has always been accepting and seems to enjoy seeing me!
2) Puts forward false and negative words toward the victim, often falsely attributing acts and words to the person they are stalking.
FACT: This is called SLANDER.
FACT: The words I attribute to TC are positive, funny and do not hurt or slander him.
3) Bullies the victim they’ve chosen to stalk.
You are a stalker:
When a person [themselves—not his or her fans] tells you NO or LEAVE ME ALONE, and you feel the person “doesn’t mean it” or you decide to “do it anyway”. It is a crime and makes you a stalker!
If you are sending email and letters telling your victim, “You’re worthless . . lazy . . .ugly . . .a stalker . . . dangerous . . . a threat [to TC] or others . . . undeserving” – particularly, when this person 1) does not contact you, 2) has never done anything, at all, to you and 3) doesn’t bother you . . . makes YOU a STALKER and a BULLY!
If you CLAIM to have been told by the person [them self] that they “hate” or have a “problem” with a said fan [me]. I am sure putting words into someone’s mouth would upset the person. It is also hearsay.
Someone (a so-called fan) did have the nerve to tell another fan – not me, mind you – that Tim Curry told her that he “hates” me and that I am to “be avoided” and I am “dangerous”.
>> First off all: If it were true [that TC felt that way about me, or anyone]. The person who made him feel that way would have been arrested whenever near him.
>> Despite rumors about me. I have never been arrested nor served a restraining order, or any other legal document from legal representatives, police officers nor Tim Curry or about Tim Curry. None.
>> If you care to check it out. All things, such as restraining orders, court appearances and arrests are public domain. As long as you know someone’s full legal name you can, with the right inquiry, do background check and find all records of public domain. It costs about $25 to $100 on places such as http://www.spokeo.com and other background check websites.
>> I say this because 1) I have nothing to hide, 2) my record [at least, regarding TC and stalking] is completely clean because I DON’T DO THAT!
You are a stalker:
If you go public on your Facebook wall . . . send emails [see above] . . . comment on websites (i.e. YouTube, WordPress) and telling the victim how terrible you, in your opinion and insight, feel this person is; making yourself the security guard, police officer for some celebrity you do not know personally and/or the therapist of the person you are bullying.
Yet, you do not hold a degree; and if you do, you are NOT treating me.
It is not you job!
FACT: This is also a hate crime!
As for me and what I do:
TC has no Facebook account – no matter how convincing you think someone is with so-called facts about him.
Stalkers are negative and also say negative things – being a fan who may or may not be obsessed is notthe same as being a stalker.
Remember, a stalker is a criminal – he or she does NEGATIVE things to possess or own someone, control the other person.
What this article was sparked by is, recently:
I have a bully and stalker – it is one person who I met through theatre – and recently [January 2012] ended the friendship because he posted negative things, and gave out personal info about my life on Facebook . . . with my full name attached!
I have been slandered, victimized, attacked and accused of things I have never done, a) vilified for living my life in a way I choose, b) continually being contacted by him [my stalker/bully] when 1) he asked me to cease contact with him [after I had told him off in a few private emails] and 2) I had stopped contacting him after he asked me not to.
From the end of January 2012 until about the end of April 2012 . . . I had not responded to his incessant, harassing and bullying emails. I have blocked him from several email accounts and then, in a month or two, he creates a new account (with a fake name) and contacts me again – with some negative response to something I posted on Facebook!
Yes, he is blocked on my Facebook . . . yet, somehow, via a fake name and Facebook account, is continuing to read my status updates, etc. And no, I won’t go private or change my Facebook accounts! It is unfair.
I should not have to hide from some fool; who has too much time on his hands and feels a need to harass me or verbally attack me about my life and my choices.
I unfriended and blocked him because my life so offends him. So, why does he need, or want to keep in touch with me. It makes no logical sense.
And there’s my point. There are mentally ill people out there. Unfortunately, because I spent five-minutes to be kind to him – when he was Stage Manager of a play I was cast in [once again, without an audition]. He took my good manners to mean we were close friends. We weren’t. I never felt any sort a rapport with this guy – let’s call him PT – he is, admittedly, very weird and cruel. He is not that type of guy who should use that sort of humor — sarcasm. At least, not the type he uses. Cruel, vicious verbal attacks on people . . . for things like begin fat, short or not as educated.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good wit. I can throw out the sarcasm along with the best of them. Nevertheless, I won’t put down a person about weight, or a flaw they cannot help. Unless they attack me first.
Yet, this guy – PT – would, publicly, on my Facebook wall, say that I was fat and lazy. Yes, it’s true I am fat. Lazy, no. And yet, he was claiming to be a friend. He became offended when I wouldn’t take jobs such as caring for an elderly man in another state! A job I do not qualify for – bad back, bad knees (that’s me) – and PT thinks I should just commute four days per week on a bus; be ready to lift, walk and give injections, change bed pans, etc. for an elderly man because he gave me the lead!
PT never bothered to ask for my office resume. The one that shows my twenty-years of being an Administrative Assistant and Legal Secretary, light Bookkeeper for financial companies, CEO’s and high-class lawyers! I’m no LPN or home care giver!
There’s an old saying: Until you have walked a mile in my shoes, do not judge me.
To ask for help – especially in a social network – in a way where you are willing to trade; i.e. I will give you a free reading for help with my rent. That is not PANHANDLING. That is NOT be lazy.
>> Yes, many people have some sense of pride, that it lowers them to ask for help when needed. I know people who have not asked for help. I have nice memories of those people when I visit their graves, too. For years, I ignored pain (as a teen and young adult) associated with my abdomen, because “no one likes a complainer”. And guess what? I nearly died at the age of 20-years-old because my ovarian cyst (of which I was unaware of having) ruptured and shot poison throughout my organs.
I learned then and there – if you need help ask.
Other times, when I tell people about the years I was homeless, ask me, “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve helped you.”
Friends get angry when they find out you didn’t reach out and ask for help. People want to help. At least, real friends do. I feel the same way. Ask! Even if, at the time, I cannot help you – I will 1) try to find you help, 2) help when and where I can and 3) encourage you through the hard times (giving what I can in that sense).
If you don’t ask, I don’t always know. They pride goeth before a fall! And I have seen, first-hand, pride kill people. Yes, kill them. To not complain (or tell/ask someone) about pain for months or years, strange menstrual cycles or difficulties living in safe places – or the money to visit a doctor, pay rent or electric or get medication – can kill you.
Of course, do not start sending me notes about what I can give you. I am still living paycheck to paycheck and haven’t quite got my first million yet. When I do . . . we’ll chat!
And as for my stalker/bully – When I started my job, about five weeks ago, I saw his Facebook page [via my contacts] and he had SHARED my status from my Facebook page and posted, about me now working fulltime, “I don’t believe it!”
>> Good! I told PT to stay out of my life. So far, since then, he has . . .
Which reminds me:
You’re a stalker if:
You turn a person’s words around and make it about them. It’s downright psychotic!
>> When I did respond to PT: I stated that I wished he’d just “go away” and frustrated at his continual abuse of me in email, I said: “I hope you die.” He turned that into me “threatening to kill” him! Which I did not, in any way, say; I said “I wish you were dead.” And wishing him to die is not threatening to make it happen.
>> First, I don’t want to jail for his ugly ass.
>> I am not a criminal in any way.
I may be a bitch and a lot of other dirty names. I am not a criminal, a stalker, a killer nor as crazy as many like to say. I’m angry, at times . . . I’m frustrated, at times . . . I’m independent, all the time . . . I can be cruel and cold, when pushed and it is needed. And only to those who treat me badly.
Let’s get the facts:
No, it wasn’t nice to say – yet, I do not take it back. I do wish he’d go away forever; at least, from my life. And from his history with me in these past few months, the only way – he’d have to be dead.
I did NOT say I wanted any part of his death. I just hope it happens. Sometimes with crazy stalkers you have to be blunt and very, very cruel. That seems the only time they actually “hear” your words, I find.
I told him, several hundred times, “leave me alone” and he doesn’t. So, obviously, he ignores those clear words I have to be blunt.
To “hope” someone dies [i.e. I wish all the terrorists would die – without taking any of us – too, I might add] is not saying you want any part of their death. I did not say murder, or by my hand or even that it has to be violent.
In fact, again, my hope, really, is to NEVER HEAR FROM HIM OR ABOUT HIM AGAIN. I do not need to know if he is alive or dead. Prosperous or poor. Good or bad. I just want him gone – from my email, my life in every way, forever.
In the final analysis, and facts about me:
I am a great friend to have.
I feel the homeless who sing, write poetry or offer to do something for your change are NOT panhandling. They are exchanging talents for pay; and if someone would pay them for it, they’d do it in better clothing or atmosphere.
If you make me an enemy, the worst that can happen: I feel nothing for you and if you bother me, I will say cruel things.
I adore Tim Curry and would not hurt him in any way. In fact, I admire him greatly, and if he said to me – himself – to go away, I would [go away] with no anger; only hurt. I’d cry and move on with my life.
I am not lazy. I work very hard. [Right now, three jobs!]
In the final thought, regarding PT – the one who stalks/bully’s me:
>> I have no feelings for him, it is indifference. Thus, I really don’t care if he lives, dies or a thousand purple monkeys’ fly out of his ass.
Onward to better things. . .
Life is going well.
I have three great jobs!
Money flows and flows!
I am now able to pay some bills, travel and enjoy my summer more!
DISCLAIMER: This is about a recent incident, mostly and other past situations.
The incident: The night before I had to be up at 6:00am, with a job I had planned for over a month. A friend/client texted. “Can you do a reading, right now?”
I texted back, honestly, and said, “Not tonight. Tomorrow, later in the day — maybe. I have to get to bed early for a morning gig.”
This person does pay, nevertheless, with no sleep; I would mess up the job in the morning. And in my intuitive business, I prefer to make an appointment. This friend/client texted back, “I will never use your service again!” and unfriended me on Facebook!
I don’t recall saying that I am here at the beck and call to my friends/client. Yes, I have done same day readings; it is not my regular thing to do. Secondly, to unfriend me and refuse to utilize my service again, over this, how unkind, rude and very unloving (for a friend).
Apparently, not a friend at all.
Of course, through the years, there’s the friends who feel my gift is something I should give them full benefit of – all hours of the day or night, for two or four hours – without compensating me.
NOTE: Nevertheless, I do have wonderful friends who pay me regularly for readings – as they can and what they can – when they ask me to utilize my gifts for them.
Still, even optimists get depressed. We really do . . . yet, when we do [get depressed], we get chastised for it.
You see, us who encourage and fix everyone else are not truly allowed to . . . well, feel down. I’m sure it’s because, if we’re down, then, the world must be ending.
Reality check, we hit bottom, too. Sure, 85% of the time, we are the cheerleader for you, ourselves and the Universe. Then, after weeks, months or even years of being that gracious, fun-loving and joyful person – we hit a jagged rock or two or a hundred.
Through our tutelage and/or our encouragement you get to:
1)pursue your dreams,
2)win, win, win from all our free advice
Then, you feel showering us with “I love you” is a fair reward for the two-hour phone chat – during non-free minute days – or when we could be looking for a job.
What’s love got to do with it? I’d rather have cash . . . to be honest. Money may or may not buy happiness – still, I certainly feel much better when I have electric, food, transportation and can pay for my phone, rent, etc. Thus, having money lowers my blood pressure, and stops panic attacks. And certainly that makes me happier.
Somehow, one thing is forgotten – we, the cockeyed optimists – have to give up our dream career for a “real job”. We are asked to do the right thing, give up everything we ever wanted. All our giving of our free advice (to you) pays no income, and you do not offer or have excuses.
“I love you” doesn’t pay rent, unfortunately. We can get downright depressed! Can you blame us?
To add salt on the wound – you will give us advice, i.e. “don’t post that you need help on Facebook. It looks unprofessional . ..”
And no . . . psychics do NOT know everything, i.e. lottery numbers, where you are, your name or if we will get clients. Our gift may be highly accurate, yet, there are limitations.
Then, when we don’t express our need, guess what happens in our life? NOTHING! We don’t get money, we don’t get help and we fall deeper into depression, debt, high blood pressure, sleepless night and dis-ease.
Then, you tell us “you’re different” or “cheer up”. Pay me, I will cheer up! You have to seek help to get it. The Lord helps those who help themselves. Being quiet, sitting in what’s left of our room, begets no actual help. We’re hungry. We have bill collectors calling hourly . . . we get told “no” at every corner for jobs . . . and then, you text or call and want immediate attention! Wow! Because we are home, unable to go out — we are supposed to stop everything and help you through an emotional crisis, for no compensation.
Of course, you have a job and do not know what it is like to have the electric company threatening to turn off your electric . . . still, we, the optimist, the person with a business that you, or others, consider “unimportant” and not really worth actual money . . . we are supposed to jump to cater to you the second you have an issue.
Sorry, my time is worth money. Yes, you are a friend. You are not being my friend, though, when you feel it is my job to jump when you say jump. Strangely, I recall, awhile back when you said, “If you ever need anything, just ask.”
And I remember when I did need help – like now – you are “too busy” or you “have bills”. Yes, you have bills and an income. I don’t [have an income] unless you compensate me for my time. Your bank account is down to $1,000 until your next paycheck. Wow!
My account is down to .05 cents (no exaggeration). Closed my savings account a few months ago, since it cost $3.00 a month and I often had $2.00 or less in it. My .05 cents won’t go up
until you, or someone decides my service is worth a few bucks.
What I’m saying is be real, my friends. I just had to vent . . .
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming of optimistic encouragement, love and light!
This new thing on twitter — with the pictures of “What I Really Do“, prompted me to create one for Psychic/Medium’s. I have been called a sinner, a witch . . . accused of being a Satanist, charlatan, a scammer and also — an angel, a psychologist (I am not), a friend, a blessing. Thus, here’s a little fun about us:
even us who teach, follow and love thelaw of attraction, positive-thinking and being as appreciative and/or as grateful as Oprah Winfrey.
Yet, there are those days when we don’t want advice . . .[because we do not have what Oprah Winfrey has…yet.]
We don’t want someone else’s idea of a solution, well…unless it is a direct solution!
If you’re a publisher and are offering me $50,000 + advance to write my book — then yes, contact me.
If you are a CEO or HR of an office here in New York (I am a Legal Secretary/Administrative Assistant — the skills to do the work) and you are willing to hire me at$40,000 + a year (without a degree) at your law office or Hedge Fund or Fortune 500 business — you should, indeed, contact me.
If you’re a Broadway, Television or Film Producer/Casting Director offering me a role and/ormy SAG or Equity Card, paid-in-full by you or the production company: (I’m a very talented actress/singer) —we can talk.
If you’re a Publicist/Manager that books Psychic/Medium talents on cruises, seminars, etc. and pay me a few thousand, and fly me from place to place — we can talk.
I have skills, I have worked and worked my law of attraction and deserve any one or all of the above – and am, perhaps on the brink of getting one or all of them – feeling frustrated my stuff has not arrived. In fact, things are going downhill. And yes, it is often darkest before the light. Nevertheless, my speaking out is not your chance to swoop in and offer me advice. I’m not asking and am not receptive to it when I reach this point. Of course, I will get over it . . . yes, it will pass . . . just let me have my moment.
I posted my frustration . . . my truth . . . to get it off my chest on Facebook. Then, someone had the nerve to private message me with a few words: “You’re going thru a rough time, tell me more about yourself.”
A person I’ve never met or heard of; it is NOT a true interest in me I learn when I click on his name. His page is ONLY one large advertisement about how to make $2,500 or more a week. Obviously, his sudden curiosity about me is to SELL me his solution. I am NOT seeking his solution. Further investigation, to a website, is more of him offering his classes, so he can make the money I’m seeking, to TEACH me how to make the money I’m seeking with HIS BUSINESS.
When you’re selling, a business, that is not one of my preferred businesses’; I prefer you do not contact me. If you can give me a DIRECT link to doing the businesses I am skilled in, trained in and ready to work in … without me investing MONEY to you, “Yes, hire me, I’m in!”
Otherwise, send me no more business or marketing ideas. No Avon, or Amway, or anything similar, or paying you for training. [With the exception of scrapbooking! I love scrapbooking!]
Now, if you have a scholarship/grant — with seed money and your business is FREE to join, completely free — I’d consider it.
I owe the IRS $12,000 — Student Loans of about $1,000 (only).
I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANY BUSINESSES BESIDES Acting, Singing, Writing, Psychic/Medium work. Tour Guide and/or, Administrative Assistant/Legal Secretary — or MONEY, a grant (?!) to start one of those or all of those as a business. I’d also consider teaching acting/drama to kids; if you’ll hire me without a teaching degree — or any degree. I nearly have an AA in Theatre.
Of course, also, if you’d like to invest in theatre: For $150,000 or more, I will help you produce a play and I will star in it — if you wish to invest in a theatre production.
Contact me for that, for sure.
To be clear: DO NOT CONTACT ME for any other type of business or investment. I have NO MONEY to invest even in my headshots.
Now, if you’d like to support me, pay for my headshots, rent and transportation for a few months — I will be glad to hear from you, in those cases. As long as it is legal, moral and safe to all involved.
If you want me to pay you for training, a business opportunity in something I do not want to do — multi-level marketing, sales, on-line crap — DO NOT CONTACT ME.
At this point in my life . . . I visualize, intend and need to make a GOOD living doing what I love. Perhaps, I’m stubborn and am hoping the Universe, or someone, will realize my talent(s) by giving me the job I deserve with the pay I deserve.
My life has been focused on performing arts, particularly acting through theatre. I feel by now, I deserve to make a great living as a theatre actor/singer. Of course, many people have this dream. That said — I’ve paid my dues, over and over . . . many times.
Now, where’s my stuff?
Certainly, too, I do enjoy helping others. I have calculated, many times, what I need to keep me alive.
Basic Level: $1,200monthly
This level of income, guaranteed, will keep me alive with the basics: For rent, food and other essentials from toiletries to paying a few smaller bills. In my Psychic/Medium business, I can make this much or more. Nevertheless, and unfortunately, I would need to guarantee four to five readings a week at my special price: $75.00.
Thus, I had to get this off my chest . . .
Today I am frustrated:
There are things I need immediately and/or want:
Regular clients [for Psychic/Medium Readings] booked up to two months pre-paid at the beginning of the week, at four per week.
A job acting and singing in a Broadway show, eight shows a week.
My SAG/AEA cards to work professionally on stage, and in television/film
$15.00 >> Pick up my laundry
$15.00 >> Prilosec
$14.00 >> Due to roommate for Prilosec last week
$160.00 >> Electric: My share of the bill
$70.00 >> Spending $$ @ ten dollars a day
$50.00 + >> Groceries
$59.00 >> To join “Curves” and begin losing weight
$283.00 >> To pay my cell phone and get service back
$100.00 >> Get my hair permed, to feel better about myself
So, basic and/or wants for one week.
In the meantime, I have a right to be frustrated, angry . . . please stop telling me to calm down, or buck up. I am having a moment. Let me know it and offer only that which is tangible: i.e, you need a reading? Right now, for you, only $75.00, my regular price is $100.00.
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! “
>> This article was on facebook (It was attributed to Delphine Fieberg (http://facebook.com/kwebekwe). She may have merely reprinted it and may be or may not be the writer. I wrote her asking permission to repost this. I did not hear back and decided it was worth the repost to encouage us plus size ladies. <<
A few weeks ago, someone I used to call a friend, posted in a public forum that I, Angela Theresa “Curry’s Angel” Collins-Egic, am just “not that memorable”; also, I apparently “lack charisma” to boot.
Since I originally penned this article (last week) — a little glitch in my life [an abnormal mammogram and upcoming needle biopsy to see if its benign or malignant] has caused me to think about memory, being remembered, etc. Two and a half years shy of my half-century mark, I’m having the longevity conversation with myself . So, as I chronicle my life, up to now and hopefully well into the next fifty or so years.
The person who said this does need a little introduction, because to most of you, he’s not that memorable, I would think. To most of my readers, he’s unknown, in fact:
He was born Andrew Martin Arnold but solely uses the stage name of Andrew Martin now. It suits him well.
When we met, back in 1985…I thought he was a 17-year-old girl. Andrew would tell you the same; that he looked like a 17-year-old girl.
For a few of those youthful years, Andrew did start wearing women’s clothing, taking my hand-me-downs, in fact; and marketed his transvestite image. He utilized my talents and Susie “Squeaky” Schwartzberg’s talent to do two cabaret acts at a venue called Jason’s Park Royal. The first one titled: THE LADY AND HIS MUSIC.
He wasMiss Andrew, in every sense of the word. A talented, off-the-wall and interesting young gay man.
To some degree, he and I were as close as any two friends could be. Andrew and I met at an 8th Street pizza joint called Bennie’s [worst pizza ever – yet we ate a slice every week]. The day I walked in there, across the street from 8thStreet Playhouse in NYC; on my way to see the NY showing of ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: I met these two girls, [I thought]; when the very thin, flat-chested one told me her name was “Andrew”. I was a little taken aback. The shorter one, with a tomboyish charm [yet, was obviously female] was “Barbara”.
Really, they didn’t even look related. Nevertheless, they were: fraternal twins.
It didn’t take long to figure out that both Andrew and Barbara were talented, intelligent teens. In fact, wise beyond their years! I instantly adored them. Through them, I met some great people, many of whom are still friends today; including Barbara and Andrew. Except, the friendship with Andrew has ended a few times and we are, as of July 2011, not on good terms . . . which is what I’m writing about.
In 1985, though, Andrew, Barbara and I, and a few others became a gang of misfits, at a place where us misfits fit in. There was the “8th Street Gang [Cast]” and “us”. “Us” who wanted to be in the 8th Street cast—all of us talented enough, yet not popular enough – to Sal Piro, at least. Being that Sal is the President of the Official RHPS Fan Club and cast the floorshow (now called shadowcasts) back then. We were still misfits.
We showed up every week, though, at 8th Street Playhouse – Miss Andrew, Barbara Arnold, Susie “Squeaky” Schwartzberg, Phil Dejean, Shawn Rozsa, Mad Man Mike, Andy Grondahl, Hawkeye, A.J. and many more. Since Sal seemed to have blacklisted quite a few of us from being in the popular 8th Street cast…I found us another way!
I moved to Brooklyn and heard about a midnight showing of RHPS on Saturday midnight. When I heard the floorshow [shadowcast] was thrown out, I grabbed my mis-fitted friends and swooped in to have our own show. I wanted to have the best cast! A cast that would have people saying we were “as good as the 8th Street cast” or “better than”!
I just wanted Sal to see how talented we were and have him, finally, offer us a role in the big show in Manhattan; or acknowledge us, at the very least.
We put the show together, quickly. I had every intention of playing ‘Magenta’; no one wanted to play ‘Frank N. Furter’, oddly. Inspired by an 8th Street idol of mine, Julie Calabrese, I molded myself into ‘Frank N. Furter’. Oh yes, and my other idol, Dori Hartley. [She, Dori, had moved on with her life before I had arrived in New York, though].
Our (really, my) cast, The Low Down Cheap Little Punks, at Brooklyn’s Marboro Theater, became known as one the best casts in the East coast – comparable to Manhattan’s 8th Street Playhouse! At least, as far as I was concerned! Sal Piro eventually took most of my cast into his cast – so, that tells you something. Some of the top cast members of Sal’s 8th Street group, in 1986, got their start in MY CAST!
As time went on, around 1987, when I began working in a talent agency – we represented Sal Piro – Sal and I started a professional, respectful friendship: I’ve attended many Rocky Horror conventions where Sal and I had some great conversations. My favorite was a Las Vegas convention, in the 90s, when Sal introduced me as “one of the most dedicated” fans of RHPS.
Sal also put me in his 2nd RHPS book Creatures of the Night II;invited me to be part of the first television showing of RHPS at FX Studios [I went as Frank N. Furter, of course]; and Sal asked me take his RHPS items to an Albany, NY convention when he couldn’t attend.
In the early years, I was at every convention from the 10th Anniversary (Beacon Theater) – and where my original costume – “Curry’s Angel” brought me Good Morning America and newspaper reporters and photographer’s interviewing me about “who” I was.
Found out, later, one of the friends’ buzzing about me told the reporters that my real name was Angela Curry . . . and that I was Tim Curry’s real-life niece!!!
I hadn’t even met Tim Curry, at that point!
Nevertheless, the next morning, as my interview aired, millions of viewers thought I was, indeed, Tim Curry’s niece as the name ANGELA CURRY was emblazoned at the bottom part of the screen. Coincidentally, when I finally did met TC, it would be revealed how much I resembled his real-life niece. I believe she, Tim Curry’s real-life niece (he has three); one resembles me [I’m older, I believe]; she, my doppleganger Curry niece, has aged much better than me, though.
About three weeks ago – on the Facebook 8th Street Playhouse page – to be told by Miss Andrew that I am “not that memorable” and that I lack “charisma”, really got up my crawl!
We must also remember, after 1987, Andrew disappeared from the RHPS fan base and refused to be part of any of our conventions, get-togethers, etc. until about 2008 or 2009.
In short, while I was involved, actively from 1983 (AZ) to 1984-1987 (NY) and then from 1988-now at conventions, another stint as ‘Frank N. Furter’ in Arizona in the 90s, made a “rock-u-mentary (1990) w/the AZ group, talked to Tim Curry and had many conversations with Sal Piro, Patricia Quinn and Richard O’Brien and too many cast(s) – all the way to England – and had a RHPS newsletter – fans from as far as Italy and France writing me fan mail . . . Really?! Not memorable? No charisma? Me?
Are you talking to me, Andrew? Unmemorable, little ole me?
Andrew claims “more people” remember him from those days. I might agree with him about that, of course. My argument is NOT the numbers; it’s the words about a personality – no charisma, not very memorable. Are those words you say to a friend? A friend so instrumental in so many memories, my own and in his, and many others!
There are people from “those days” who approach me, remember me, actually . . . whom I cannot, for the life of me, remember at all. BUT, friend or foe, I would never be so rude to say to them: “you’re not very memorable” or “you must’ve lacked charisma”.
Hell, for all I know, they are very memorable and have tons of charisma – I just wasn’t lucky enough to see it and or get to know this great person at the time. My loss.
Which was my point with Andrew Martin, supposedly my friend … he went on to remind me and the group how “everyone remembers him” and “hardly anyone” remembers me. A snob! An ego-maniac.
A very insecure person, envious of my involvement and part of this history. Andrew missed the years between 1987-2007, when we had reunion’s, conventions and were interviewed by German, French and British TV shows and even American specials.
After I blocked him on Facebook – had unfriended him months ago when he posted some rude, jealous and snobby remark on my wall – I actually just feel sorry for him. He is, insecure. He is dysfunctional much more than most of us. I claim to have empathy.
Of course, without proper, professional diagnosis, I can say, from my experience (in life) – I find Andrew shows signs of classic Narcissist Personality Disorder. I had another friend with a professional diagnosis of the disorder – thus, I see the similar signs in Andrew.
This means, I really should be empathetic. Yet, I, too, have my ego and insecurities, as well. I guess we’re all a bit narcissist in the theatre business!
A recent scare, which I’m still dealing with calmly, made me think about . . . well, being remembered, etc. and how we are remembered.
I have no fear of death, itself, yet I don’t want to do it right now. I want to see one hundred years on this earth, I mean, if I’m capable and not crippled up, etc. Yet, as I have had friends pass on – far too many for someone my age – it makes me think about who will remember me? Who will share these memories with me, of me and our times in the 1980s?
If Andrew is right, and I’m not that memorable or charismatic — me being there was all, I don’t know, an illusion.
I thought I finally did fit in. I had found my people – the different, the misfits, the unusual – and now, maybe I am still an alien, the kid easiest to bully, the ugly one, the forgettable one.
Sure, I know it’s not true, really.
Andrew is trying to hurt me to make himself feel better – for his insecurities – yet, he succeeded. As really, no one even stood up for me!
I may understand why, though – Andrew will argue, filibuster – and would’ve pestered anyone who dares speak up for me. Because I spoke up for me and he went on and on until I ended it by blocking him! It just would’ve soothed my ego (of course, not my authentic self as “ego” is the false self) if someone had spoken up for me.
I guess we can say Rocky Horror Picture Show also attracts insecure people all around! Yikes!
P.S. I have to mention tarot cards. Why? Because it’s getting me more traffic than any other search!!! LOL! Over 400 people per week search tarot cards. And, oh yeah, I do tarot card, Archangel Michael Oracle Card & Archangel Oracle Card readings! Email me: “Tarot Readings”–AngelAura28@yahoo.com [Tarot Card Reading: $15.00 Full/In-Depth Reading]
If I see one more talk show [i.e. Dr. Phil] that features a woman falling victim to some man on a dating site – losing her heart or her cash or both – and that woman says, “Any woman would’ve fallen for that/him, etc. . . .”
I’m going to book a flight to the city, ask the show to find this woman and I’m going to smack her in the face, telling her, “Speak for yourself, freak!”
No, I don’t condone violence. But, foolish women, STOP SPEAKING FOR ME. No, I would not fall for that, or him! I don’t believe most of the men I meet in person who wax poetic on my ass, or my face, for that matter.
And why is it always a woman like me – overweight, middle-aged and single?
Wait, I can answer that one, at least, part of it. Why these scam artists choose . . . them (us). They’ve [scam artists] emailed me, private messaged me on Facebook, contacted me on dating sites.
Difference is, I give women like myself a good name. I don’t fall for it! Why are you?! You’re making us look stupid.
Of course, maybe many woman of my description are stupid, or lack confidence, and want to believe every manufactured word some random stranger – claiming to be an eligible male – utters in an email, text, Facebook, twitter or on the phone.
Sorry, I don’t believe in love at first text, email or even love at first sight. Never have. Never will. Let me explain that I know “attraction at first sight” or “lust at first sight” certainly does exist and is alive and present. Nevertheless, love? Love is precious, it must build. It may be with someone you’re immediately attracted to, also. Still, as Dr. Phil states, wisely: Don’t marry him or her until you’ve seen them with the flu. [Although, since I take a flu shot every year, this may not apply for me.]
Do I know what true love is? I will say I do. I heard it somewhere, felt it many times and still have it for each and every man I’ve dated and/or loved.
True love – I do not remember where I read it or heard it – is “wanting the other person’s good.” Unconditional. Even if the other person’s good is to NOT be with you. If you truly love someone you would want them to be happy in their life, with or without you. Thank you, Bono!
Romantic love, on the other hand is very “conditional”. You want that person with you, and only you. You want only that person. You call him or her your soulmate, your other half. You feel your life will never be complete without him or her in your very life, your grip. Conditional. Fun, yes! Wonderful, yes – if she or he reciprocates that love. Miserable — if they do not or cannot.
No way can that conditional type of love be proven by a voice on the phone of someone you’ve never laid eyes on; not in real life, at least. What is their body language when in a room with you? Does their very smell turn you on, or off? You cannot know unless you have met in person!
Yes, there have been stories of romance found on the internet.
Yet, if someone contacts you, in New York, and says he’s from New Jersey, but doing his engineering work in Nepal [this type approached me on email once] – with no specific return date; no banks in sight; wants to spend his life with you; thinks you’re the most gorgeous woman in the world (even though you’ve never met in person) . . . RUN AWAY! This is a scam artist, a fake and you are one of many they find on dating sites!
This person contacting you, with all the pretty words, is married or living with someone, or a woman (and you think it’s a man), or a horny teenager who can write maturely.
American Ladies: No matter how lonely you are – no matter how sure you are that no man in your area of the world is going to treat you well . . . stop making us the laughing-stock of the scam world, as these scam artists count the money you send them for their airplane tickets (to meet you) or start your life together! It’s a lie! A con!
Learn the difference between being alone and loneliness. You are complete, as you are. A man should ADD to your already incredible life – not make it happy [It should already be happy]. It’s not his job! It’s the best job, the most rewarding, to find your own happiness. You have complete control of this.
The control is your thoughts, your feelings. You don’t have to blame anyone, nor yourself. Just change your mind.
Clicking on my photos often leads to links.
A habit is a thought you think over and over again. It doesn’t make it true. Yet, we believe it’s true, because we think it over and over. Step one is to note your negative thoughts:
Thought one: No man will love me because I’m fat.Now ask yourself, logically: Is this true?Answer: NO, many fat women have husbands, lovers, lives, and joy.
Thought two: There no love after 40.Question: Is this true?Answer: Of course not! People fall in love into their 90s! [FACT: A constant problem in most old age homes is keeping the men and women from having sex, or trying to, at least!]
Also, you attract to yourself what you believe about yourself. You can find a man, once you realize, you don’t truly need one to be fulfilled in life. In fact, most people find the very thing you want (be it a man, a job) etc., comes when you realize and recognize you are happy as you are, at this very moment.
Find the things, people to appreciate right now. Start with what you appreciate about YOU.
Not saying I’m perfect, either. We’re all a work in progress and no one reaches perfection. Nevertheless, I appreciate my body because it is functioning. I can walk, I can type, I can use all my limbs and even though I’m plump – for the most part, I’m pretty damn healthy!
As for my love life – it’s a little boring. I was masturbating awhile back and my hand fell asleep! Still, I have my hands for that and many other purposes, even if it [my hand] or they [other limbs] fall asleep once in a while. I have them!
For those men out there, now madly in love with me – and I am an incredible girlfriend [I must admit] – you must live here [New York] or be wealthy enough, at my beck and call – to get on a plane [first class] and meet me at Starbucks in Chelsea at 4:00 pm next Thursday for our first half hour date.
If that goes well, we will arrange for a dinner date the next couple of days or the next week.
Then, and only then, after some in-person dates/discussions – we will see if I’m willing to do a long-distance dating thing, temporarily! We can then talk about texting, emailing, facebooking, etc.
Still, I like my men LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY! At least, while I still live here.
Here’s an article and what the scam artists feel about us!
Click on the photos for the actual website and article.
DayOne–HundredEight(108): Wednesday, June 16th,2010
108)Choose ToPursue Wealthor Poverty
People in religious orders may take a vow of poverty but not a vow to acquire wealth and material possessions. Poverty has somehow always equated with deeply held spiritual aspiration whereas the pursuit of wealth often has been perceived as a selfish desire for things of the flesh instead of the spirit. The Law of Attraction, as you have already learned, is indifferent; it gives you whatever you think and feel you deserve. When you give yourself over to increase in your life, you are giving fuller expression to the abundance of the Divine Intelligence within you. However, if you seek poverty, the Law of Attraction will make it so. Proponents of the Law of Attraction say it is up to you to choose.
According to my notes . . . did the City Sights tour, as usual and was taken to Brooklyn. The Brooklyn tour could and should be much more interesting, if you ask me. Yes, I make it as interesting as possible. I just think it would be more fun, for City Sight and the tourists if we drove to place like Coney Island and stopped, as a bus, to grab a hot dog; or work out something with Nathan’s or the ice cream shop at the Fulton Ferry Landing — to bring something onto the bus?!
Anyway, my past includes two stints in Brooklyn. I lived in Bensonhurst in 1985-1986 with my roommate Betsy. And for the life of me I cannot remember her real last name. I called her “Betsy Ross” and it may have been her real name. I know she attended FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) and was originally from Rhode Island. It may be been “Betsey”. Not sure, though.
The second time I live in Brooklyn was 1988 when I was dating Vinny Saladino. Vinny and his mother lived in the Marboro Projects. But his cousin, Patty, had a house in Bensonhurst. Patty and her husband lived in the main part of this three-story house. They had converted the upstairs 2nd and 3rd floor (attic) into apartments and rented them out. I lived in the attic apartment with Arleen Fackina.
Arleen and I had our ups and downs, and it’s a story for a long time. Only about a year or less ago, I “unfriended” her on facebook and really, although I’d be civil (and miss the woman she used to be) — cannot speak to her. In the passing years, Arleen has become cold, bitter and negative — at least, about my life — and really, about hers. She always had strange, old-fashioned, limiting and depressing ideas about life — I decided to focus on more positive people. She was one of quite a few negative people I have been unfriending or blocking (I didn’t block her as she isn’t that terrible).
To get back to positivity, joy, etc. in one’s life . . . means, often, letting that which is toxic and/or just negative (including people) . . . move away from your life.
No, I’m not perfect, I have my days . . . some of them shared here. And letting go of what one knows, or is used to, can be very much a death experience. As Dr. Wayne Dyer quoted, “You have to die before you can live.” And in death there is mourning.
Of course, when it comes to letting go of a way of life — long-term relationships, being the one who always jokes about being broke or a starving artist (that’s me) — at first, is not exactly just quick. The ego can often take years to actually kill or restrain enough to dissipate its hold on one’s personality. Sometimes it just slips into a coma, only to reawaken at the first sign of weakness on your part. The ego may only go into remission for years and stay there — still, it is part of the journey to contain it and move it into our true nature — positivity.
There is enough for everyone!
There’s room for all people to succeed and prosper!