Day Eighty-Three (83): Love, Hate & Indifference

Day EightyThree (83): Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

83) A Dream Unites A Divided Egypt

One leader of the ancient world, King Narmar of Egypt, desired to unite Upper Egypt with Lower Egypt and lived to see his desire manifested. King Narmar’s unification of Egypt had a profound and positive impact on all aspects of Egyptian life. His prosperity was revealed in a mace head discovered by archeologists. It showed the king with his bodyguards and provided a list of all this assets. His people like-wise experienced a glorious period as a unified Egypt saw the building of pyramids and the development of hieroglyphics, more stability, and expanded trade. Some might say that those achievements stand as a powerful testament to the positive thinking and the hopes, dreams and deeds of the Egyptian people and their visionary leader.

Let’s chat a short bit about people whom I’ve put out of my life:

I do not do this lightly . . .

I am not easily offended, either . . . thus, if I block you or unfriend you, there are very good reasons. I am in the belief after telling you over and over (and I do have a tendency to filibuster) what you’re doing is upsetting, hurting or bothering me and you continue to do it; well, I am going to block you or cut you off from my life.

Here is my real life example . . .

I was acquainted with a guy, a younger guy, and it was nothing but an internet friendship. Met him on-line in some place from about ten years ago, similar to facebook. An okay kid . . . really.

Years later, he found me on facebook or meetup.com or something like that. Now in his 30s he suffered much the same fate as many of us. Found himself in NYC without a job. Understandably having hard times. He would post statuses on facebook about if anyone knew of any job.

I suggested what I do: NYC Tour Guide

He had a million and one excuses as to why he couldn’t be a tour guide. Most of those excuses I debunked immediately. As his “excuses” were invalid; were not even the truth of today’s world.

Excuses such as: “I’m a singer and I cannot ruin my singing voice by speaking loud.”

The truth: Nowadays, tour guides have microphone.

Excuse: “I have a problem standing for hours.”

The truth: On top of tour busses we sit down. At least, we should. Some tour guides choose to stand, but officially, it is illegal to stand. [I don’t].

Anyway, after facing the fact that he just didn’t want to be a tour guide . . . I watched my hands of it. Then, he would post other “depressive” status’. Many things about his need of a job or his undiagnosed disability. One day, I met him in person. He is overweight and has a problem with his teeth (a huge problem that turns people away).

He began posting how doctors can find nothing wrong with his foot (which he says is a problem or something).  We’d end up in long email discussions about his lack of positive thinking and his need to find something wrong. A reason for him to think the world owes him a living.

I suggested, if he is so desperate, to go get any job . . . McDonald’s, etc. And still, excuse after excuse, about how he cannot do that . . . he’s too educated, too disabled. Of course, the government won’t give him disability because doctors find nothing wrong with him. This went on for months and months, maybe a year.

I told him, logical deduction, lose weight and your self-diagnosed disability would ease. Then, he would send me pages and pages of email as to why I’m wrong. All negative bullshit.

Finally, after all this, I wrote him an email . . . because even after I quit writing back, and saying nothing . . . he continued to send me diatribe after diatribe of why I am wrong about him. I told him to stop writing to me. At least, stop writing any negative type emails. I didn’t want to read one more negative thing from him.

If he wanted to write and update me once in a while, fine . . . BUT, it must be positive, i.e., “I’m doing great, all is well.” I made this clear in my email. Besides, I have no huge investment in this guy. Yeah, I like to be right and I enjoy preaching. Yet, like anyone else, if my preaching (when the person asked for help over and over, which he did) doesn’t turn into the person taking my advice, or trying to — I stop.

Thus, I was really done with this guy. And my policy to give warning before I take action (in some situations). I warned him: No more emails of a negative manner or I will unfriend you (facebook is where he send most of these). He wrote another long facebook email explaining why he has a “right” to be negative.

I wrote back . . . and told him. I have unfriended you. If you write another email of the same manner I will block you.

He wrote another long, long email; which began with something negative (I only read the first sentence or two, as per my promise of not reading anymore negative crap from him). I blocked him.

Since that time, about a year ago . . . he has stalked me. I found his name on something at the theatre where I perform. He has texted me on my phone. And an email or two which I delete immediately. Once I make a decision, it’s done.

There are times, I will rekindle a positive friendship (if it was positive at anytime) — if the person leaves me alone after I made it CLEAR not to contact me for a while; and they go by that. But, when one stalks me, well, it becomes a problem.

So, the other day (this is being written in June) . . . this wacko stalked me on a dating site! Of course, we never dated, at all. I sent him the first note back in ages (maybe a year) and reminded him that it is getting weird and he is now seeming like a stalker.

He wrote back, right before I blocked him on there. “I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much.”

Well, first off. I don’t hate him. I don’t like him, either. Nevertheless, hate is a strong emotion . . . hate also means you have a passion for the person.

Even when we were supposedly friends . . . it was never for my benefit. He didn’t add to my life. The so-called friendship was because I am, generally, kind to people. I had no vested interest in him in a personal way. Yes, I wish all human beings joy and happiness and prosperity; and that is the only thing I feel for him.

To feel that for him is no reason I would want him in my life. The people in my life are those that add to me in a POSITIVE way. Those who constantly remind me or themselves how awful their life is, or society, or the economy and that is ALL they do. Well, that’s brings me down. Makes me depressed and I don’t need that.

Sure, some of my friends complain . . . I complain . . . I have my issues. BUT, for the most part, those closest to me get through it and we share positive experiences together.

Aside from this diatribe and a couple of others . . . I aim for the positive, too.

So, no, I do not hate this person. I dislike his message and I certainly dislike and am a bit afraid of people who cannot take “no, don’t contact me” as an answer. That is a sign of a mental illness and being stalked is frightening.

And to clear up any other accusations concerning my favorite actor. NO, I am not a stalker. Because, from past experiences, not just this one … I do know, because I am not mentally ill, that stalking is negative and a crime. And I have no desire, nor ever have, to force anyone to be my friend, etc.

I don’t have to force anyone to be my friend. I have many friends and we adore one another.

I do not hate anyone, either.

But, I get the choice of who is in my life and who isn’t. Just as you get this choice, too.

When someone ends their friendship with me. I, too, appreciate an answer. When I received an answer, on occasions when that has happened [someone ends a friendship with me]; I don’t force the person to be my friend, again. I may not agree with the answer, but I will ask for one.

In fact, I received an answer from one a couple of years ago. She ended our friendship because she felt I was a stalker [of my favorite actor, just because I went to see him in a show], and a user [of other people]. I accepted her answer, BUT, I said to her: “It is obvious, you do not know me. Although we had a friendship for over six years, your opinion of me is incorrect. And if you feel I am those things, then, yes, I understand we have no friendship.”

I only have my own issue with those who do not explain why . . . if there is no apparent or obvious reason to end our friendship. Or, at least, apparent to me. Explanations are good for closure.

In this case, I gave this guy the answer. And added another reason: I avoid people who put words in my mouth that I have not said. I never said, in the entire time I knew him that I hated him or anyone.

People need to listen better. One of my biggest pet peeves . . .DO NOT PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH. Hate and dislike are two very different things. And the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Hate has passion as does love. Indifference is what I feel, for the most part, for this guy.

My ego, though, wants to clear the air about his accusatory statement that I hate anyone.

Love, Light and Laughter, To All . . .

Angela Theresa

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s